Short and sweet update

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Shade gives a thumbs up after surgery.

The surgery was a success. After five hours of waiting, Dr. Marcus came out all smiles and said it couldn’t have gone better. The first half of the surgery involved pulling a nerve out of his calf. The second half was inserting it in his face. Shade had three very nice thick nerves in his left cheek from which to choose. Dr. Marcus picked the largest one and grafted the harvested nerve to this. Then he snaked it under Shade’s nose to the other side. When we finally were allowed in to see him around 6:30 p.m., he was still knocked out. He didn’t fully awaken for another two hours, though at one point in his daze, he did mumble that “Dad was f-ing annoying.” No big secret there. Around 9 p.m., they moved him to his own room on the sixth floor and was finally able to drink an apple juice and watch American Ninja Warrior.

Shade has felt no pain so far, despite having his calf, cheek and lip sliced and stitched. However, he did keep thinking he had wet himself.  He’s got a catheter and he was feeling the sensation of eliminating. We’d tell him he was fine, that it was all going in a tube to a bag, and that he was all dry. But thanks to a combo of his anethesia and his short term memory loss, he’d quickly forget and say again, “Oh man, I think I peed myself.” This will be a constant loop until the tube is removed.

Good news. My cousin Craig read about our cruddy hotel situation and cashed in some Marriott points to get us a room at the nearby Courtyard, which in comparison is like Downton Abbey. Thanks Craig. Aitza is sleeping on the recliner couch in the hospital room with Shade because she’s mom and that’s what moms do. If all goes well, Shade can leave the hospital and they can stay in the hotel room tomorrow.

I’m keeping this one short because it’s time for bed. More tomorrow.

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Doctors, Diners and Dumps

The line in front of Shade’s ear is where they will make the incision to insert the harvested nerve. the writing says “normal.” The doctor forgot to but “ab” in front of it.

Travel day today. We flew in from Orlando to Raleigh-Durham, departed at 9:30 a.m. I was on standby, but the flight had 30 empty seats so the attendant sat us all together and gave us the seats right behind business class. More legroom. And we boarded first, so no slow shuffle to the back of the plane.

When we got to Alamo and handed our reservation to the attendant, he traded up our economy car for an SUV for free. Said he thought we would need the extra room for the wheelchair. Great guy.

This is one of the benefits of traveling with Shade. People like to upgrade him. Unfortunately, it didn’t work with the hotel. We’re at what Aitza has dubbed the No-Quality Inn. It’s awful. Carpets from 1962. Sagging popcorn ceiling where a previous leak had swelled the stucco. The hallway smells like stewed mildew. The bathroom door is too narrow to allow a wheelchair, so I have to wrestle Shade through the door every time he has to take a whizz. It is better than a motel we once stayed at in Boone, NC, which overlooked an empty pool full of stuffed trash bags, a rusting grill and a foot of green sludge that seemed to have grown tentacles. Suspicious parking lot deals carried on into the wee hours. I believe they had hourly rates. That was the worst hotel we’ve ever suffered through. This is a hair better. But what it lacks in basic living conditions, it makes up for in descriptive storytelling potential.

We had time before our 2:30 p.m. appointment to stop at Elmo’s Diner – a bit of a hometown institution in Durham. Great biscuits and gravy and super-thick chocolate shakes. Shade scarfed down as much food as he could today because he won’t be eating solid food for a while. Fasting tomorrow, liquid diet for a few days, and then soft, mushy food. Savor that bacon cheeseburger, Shadenator!

At our doctor’s appointment, Dr. Marcus walked us through the procedure. After Shade is knocked out, the doc will make two or three small incisions in Shade’s left calf to harvest about 16 to 18 inches of nerve. (The thought makes my sphincter tighten.) He’ll then make an incision along the front of Shade’s left ear and a bit down the jawline. The nerve will be attached to live nerves in this cheek. Then using a very narrow “feeding tube,” he’ll snake the nerve along his upper lip. An incision will be cut at the inside top of his lip to help feed the nerve along. And then they’ll stitch him all up and let the nerve start taking root. The procedure will take about four to five hours.

In nine months, when the nerve has branched out sufficiently, we’ll return for Shade’s follow up surgery – a muscle graft. Dr. Marcus said he’ll wait until then to do his eye brow lift as he’ll be working on the right side. This time the surgery is all left.

We are currently prepping for bedtime. We have to be at the hospital at 9 a.m. We’ll keep you updated during the day on Shade’s Progress Facebook page, and I’ll give you an entire rundown tomorrow night on the blog.

Smile time’s a comin’

Shade sporting the Tarantino Suitcase, a hitman’s goatee that we had to fill in with Sharpee to connect the stache to the beard. Universal policy. It lasted about a week until Aitza put a stop to it because all his white sleeves were stained gray from where he wiped his face on his sleeves. Doh!

Shade is embarking on a new journey. This is sailing across the uncharted Atlantic to search for a new world. We’ve booked a surgery for him. Nerves harvested and grafted. An electric journey across his face. It’s going to do wonders for his smile.

On Thursday, at 2:30 PM EST, March 29, 2018, we travel from Orlando to Raleigh-Durham for Shade’s appointment with Dr. Jeffrey Robert Marcus, MD of Duke University. He’s one of the top Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeons in the country. They did various scans and tests and determined he was a good candidate for a nerve graft. Of course, I told you all this on the Facebook post for his fundraiser so sorry to be redundant.

So this Friday, he’ll be prepped for surgery. After he’s under, Dr. Marcus will remove a nerve from his calf and graft it from his left cheek to his right. They go in under his lips and insert the nerve.

They’ll also lifting his right eyebrow and lower eyelid. It doesn’t close properly and tends to droop, causing his tears to run out and his eyeball to dry. It’s painful and we have to constantly keep his eye lubed and taped at night. The stitch will pull the corner of his right eye up so it holds the tears and potentially allows him to close his eye.

Then comes the recovery period.

I’ll keep you all informed about Shade’s Progress during this procedure. Here’s to symmetrical smiles and blinking eyes.

Goodbye Dens Sapientiae

Ice pack after yanking Shade’s teeth

Shade had his wisdom teeth removed today. They yanked those suckers right out of his skull this morning. Now he’s on a soft diet of jello, yogurt and bloody gauze.

The jerk that named your third molars wisdom teeth — Dens sapientiae — was probably around before the birth of Jesus.  It’s like the lamest joke from pre-Christianity’s worst hack comedian. That guy was a total asine sapientiae — wise ass.

Wisdom teeth, like every other vestigial body part (tonsils, appendix, male nipples), are useless and bothersome, and often have to be removed before causing serious damage. My wisdom teeth got pulled out when I was about Shade’s age. Both Shade and I still have our appendix, tonsils, and nipples, which have yet to do serious damage, though they could still go off like unexploded bombs at any time.

The unwise part of wisdom teeth is that they don’t come out until you actually care about what your teeth might look like, i.e. when you’re a self-conscious teen. Then they crowd your front teeth, screw up your smile, and cause all sorts of dental problems until they’re forcibly removed like a bunch of drunk redneck party crashers at your daughter’s Quince Años celebration.

They’re annoying buggers that should have faded out of the gene pool after the first snooty Cro-Magnon turned down the Neanderthal’s mammoth jerky for a decent filet. And yet they keep popping up. Except in Aitza, who was born without them. What the hell, Aitza? You couldn’t pass those genes down to our kids?

Meanwhile, Shade spends his second week in the last month of 2015 in bed with an aching noggin. Here’s hoping that 2016 gives him a break from surgeries.

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