Hanging in the hotel

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Shade enjoys a smoothie. He can’t have solid food until Tuesday. Notice his “Shadenator” shirt, which Julie Creus made him after his very first stroke in San Antonio, in July 2011. It has buttons down one whole side, so we don’t have to put the shirt over his head.

Shade was discharged yesterday around 12:30 p.m. The night before went smoothly for him, mostly sleeping. He was so out of it, he didn’t even feel when they removed the catheter. I wince just thinking about that. Aitza stayed with him and had to sleep on a recliner that didn’t recline all the way. Luckily, she’s the size of a hobbit, so she curled up like a cat and slept just fine. If I had been on it, I would have looked like Buddy the Elf with legs and arms hanging off the ends.

We brought Shade back to the hotel after discharge and he slept in the hotel for a few hours. Then we took him for a ride in the car to get some fresh air and let him hunt a few Pokémon. He’s been unable to feed his addiction for two days and Pokémon just released a new feature called Research, which are like missions to collect certain Pokémon or engage in battles. It was a good hospital release gift for him, but he did criticize the city of Durham for having very little Pokémon activity. Guess he’ll never move here.

Shade didn’t have much pain yesterday, but today his leg is aching, especially when I help him stand up to transfer to his wheelchair. His jaw and lip feel fine, except for the one time I helped him out of bed and banged his face against my shoulder. Dad is a clumsy ox. He’s only taking Tylenol for the pain. He had Oxycontin right after the surgery, but he doesn’t need that level of pain management anymore. (Or addiction. Pokémon is enough.) The doctor also prescribed Doxycycline for his acne. As acne is really just a skin infection, the surgery scars will heal much better if his face clears up. No need to further irritate healing skin.

The Courtyard Marriott hotel where we are now staying is lovely. Compared to the crack-house accommodations at Quality Inn, it’s the Ritz. We’re on the third floor overlooking the fire pit and pool. It’s peaceful and the hallways do not smell like farts and pot smoke.

However, yesterday there was a group of motorcyclists, maybe 100 people, checked into the hotel. They were having a rally during the day, and the parking lot was full of shiny bikes roaring back and forth. Then at night it was time to party … around the fire pit right below our room. They pulled out speakers and blasted music. They were laughing and talking and yelling. Bikes were revving in the parking lot. I kept looking out of the window, kind of wishing I was down there with the party, as they had beers and Jell-O shots and mason jars full of dubious liquids. But I was busy writing some articles, and plus we had to get Shade ready for bed. Doctor’s orders are to brush his teeth, but don’t go up into the lip where he has stitches. Then he has to rinse his mouth multiple times with salt water to keep the area clean and help the healing process. He’s also not yet ready to roll himself to the bathroom, so I help lift and lower him from bed to bathroom, from bathroom to bed.

We finally got Shade prepped for sleep, but the hubbub downstairs irritated him. Aitza put an earplug in his right ear, but she couldn’t on the left side where the incision was made. So he had to suffer the noise with a pillow over his head.

The party petered out by 9 p.m. I assume the revelers moved the scene to some local bars and restaurants. I went down shortly after to have a beer by the fire pit. There were four guys left. One of them—a six-and-a-half foot, 350-pound monster—was passed out in a chair. His buddy was wiping down the front of his soiled shirt with a towel. Then the three semi-sober guys roused this drooling linebacker and managed to lift him out of the chair. They corralled him, one on each side and one behind, as he shuffle-staggered toward the hotel lobby door, and right by where I was sitting. Each shambling step involved a stop and a glaze-eyed wobble. At one point he loomed right over me, and he swayed like a tree hewn by lumberjacks. For a second I envisioned a river of vomit exploding from the putrid reservoir in his guts and dousing me head to toe, then his bulk toppling, dragging his three helpless friends to crash down on me and crush me to death. A horrific, malodorous way to go, but my funeral would be hilarious. However, his boys kept him upright and he shuffled inside … hopefully to bed and not on a motorcycle.

I was supposed to leave on a flight this morning as Mayan is back in Orlando and has school tomorrow. He’s been staying at friends’ houses over the weekend. But last night by the fire, I was thinking that I couldn’t leave Aitza by herself to wrestle Shade back and forth for three days in the hotel, in the car, to the hospital and finally to the airport on Tuesday. I flew up here on a standby flight, which was easily changed through Virgin Holidays, Aitza’s company. So now I’m staying until Tuesday. Mayan will stay with his friend or my brother. He’s been so independent lately and spends so much time hanging with friends that we barely see him in the house anyway. Teenage life.

Happy Easter everyone. Remember to bite the ears off the chocolate bunny first so it can’t hear where you hid its eggs.happy-easter11

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Hero’s Journey

Shade is home after five weeks in multiple hospitals. After a second stroke, and then a third stroke. After multiple sessions of MRIs and MRAs and angiograms. After weeks of intensive therapy at the best damn therapy hospital I’ve witnessed. (We’ve seen a few, and no disrespect to the other fine establishments, but Brooks was extra superduper special with ice cream.)

Shade had gotten in the rhythm of six sessions of therapy daily with an army of occupational, physical, speach, music, and recreational therapists, and their assistants, interns and volunteers helping him through the tough job of getting his left side to wake back up. Not to mention the fantastic doctors, nurses and techs checking up on him and the meal staff taking his order and delivering his three hot meals to his bedside. Shade became a veritable celebrity patient amongst the staff. On his graduation day, when he gave his speech, it was accompanied by laughter and tears from the gathered crowd. Employees kept popping into the room the last day to say goodbye.

And then he was released. Everyone take a deep breath and sigh. It’s all over.

Except for the part where Shade has to get used to living in his house, which he used to be able to navigate easily by scooting, crawling and, most recently, walking. Except now he can’t use his left arm. Despite the great strides he’s made on that side, it’s not enough to help him get down the stairs, even scooting on his bottom. He can’t raise his arm above his shoulder or support himself on a handrail. He can very slowly close his hand, but he cannot maintain even the slightest grip and opening  his hand is extremely difficult. Thus, no picking up anything, even a sock. Forget tying a shoe. His left leg is a bit better than the arm, though it’s still much weaker than it should be. It tends to drag when we assist him with walking and he often rolls the ankle or step on his other foot. He doesn’t have the strength or balance to stand. We’re planning lots of therapies to work on this, but it’s a road that disappears into fog. We don’t know how it will end.

After the first stroke, and the recent second and third strokes, he never complained or questioned the reasons. But the day after Shade and Mami got back home from Brooks, Shade came to the realization of what he’d lost after putting in so much time and effort to recover. For the first time ever, he turned to Mami and said, “Why did this have to happen again?” He didn’t dwell on it, but the thought is now lingering there.

I wonder the same thing. My big brain tells me that this happened by chance. Random mutations in some tucked away DNA strand in the embryo that became Shade. The small flaw in the architecture that blew it up. Like the exhaust port on the Death Star. (The incompetent space engineer that designed that beauty got fired. Literally.)

The part of my brain that believes in the force and elves and the Greek gods and awesome (Adj. inspiring awe) stories wants to blame some invisible sky man or some virulent spirit or a glitch in the Matrix for the barrage of shitty luck that’s plagued Shade. After all, a story is always better with an antagonist. But blame wouldn’t help the situation at hand.

Shade’s at that point in the hero’s journey where he faces the abyss. He’s overcome great odds only to be thrown down hard, his lowest point, where it would be easiest to give up. Like when Luke got his arm lopped off by his daddy (Noooo! That’s not true. That’s impossible!) and then fell into the shaft and hung on with one arm for dear life on the ass end of Cloud City, questioning everything he ever knew and waiting for the worst. Sure, his arm was gone, but it was the damage to his psyche that threatened to make him quit.

Guess who got Luke out of his predicament. His friends. After sending out some force instant messages (Come get me), he got picked up by Leia and Chewie (and Lando, too), and they got him back to working order (with some robotic assistance.) And then he saved the galaxy … for a while.

That’s what Shade needs now. He needs good friends who are willing to spend time with him, exercise with him, play games, or just chill. We’ve got the therapy lined up and the doctor’s appointments scheduled. If you can help with the friendship part, that would help immensely.

(By the way, thanks Cody for coming over today and hanging out and all his friends that Facetimed him in the hospital.)