Good cop, bad cop

University Hospital has an amazing team of doctors and nurses. It’s a teaching hospital, and there has been a constant flow of student nurses and doctors-to-be coming in and out of our room. I keep saying to myself if this had to happen, this is the best place it could have happened.

That said, there’s limits to what they can do. Nurses give us great testimonials about patients with worse situations that have walked out of here, kids who they thought would be brain dead and are now running and playing and come back to visit them. Then the doctors come in with the reality check. “We can’t tell at this point.” “Your son is very sick and we just don’t know the options.” It’s a case of good cop, bad cop.

To highlight the limitations, we’ve been sharing a waiting room with a large family (perhaps 20 people with kids) who came in after a car wreck. Their daughter had massive head injuries. The doctors just informed the parents that their child has no brain activity. I haven’t stopped crying for them. I’m here hoping for Shade’s recovery and they’re dealing with the possible loss of their daughter. It’s the news we heard on Thursday night, except for them there’s possibly no bright side. It’s horrible. I want to give them my life for their daughter.

The one very small consolation is that that family has a large support group. I just can’t imagine what it must be like for families or individuals that have to go through it alone. It makes me wish I was a better person, to have done things for complete strangers. I guess it’s not too late to start because there’s always going to be someone out there that needs some support.

Don’t worry. We are still very positive about Shade’s recovery despite what any doctor may infer. I am a realist, but I’m also an optimist.

I hope this does sound redundant, but your online support is like having all of you here. We owe you all hugs and beers and high fives and chocolates and more.

We love you all, Vincent, Aitza, Arianny, Edwin, Mayan and super trooper Shade.

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25 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dee
    Jul 18, 2011 @ 23:25:10

    Great to hear about quality of hospital and that you all are content with the service they are giving you, that is BIG. Stay strong and know so many people are pulling for you. Hugs to all/Dee

    Reply

  2. Brett Bales
    Jul 18, 2011 @ 23:50:38

    Hang in there big guy – I’m right there with you.
    Love to all.

    Reply

  3. Maria Rivadeneyra
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 00:18:44

    We love all of you so much!
    Keep your faith up and remember with God all things are possible. God is in charge, trust him. Love…Eric, Mary, Naty and Enchito πŸ™‚

    Reply

  4. Jodi Zadow
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 01:35:10

    Awww…Vince, that is so sad for that family…I don’t know what to say…I keep Shade in my thoughts every minute of the day. There is a guy I work with, he is very religious, he has his entire church praying for Shade… I just wish there was more we could do. Tell Mayan how proud we are he is so brave, too!! Love you guys…

    Reply

  5. Cassidy and Adi
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 01:41:48

    We are so glad to hear about Shade’s fighting spirit during this health battle mixed in with such great stories of his randomness and humor. He sounds like a great kid! Your writing is so eloquent Vince and Adi and I are following it daily for updates. Please know that we are here in Orlando praying for your entire family. Don’t hesitate to call if you need any errands run or some feet on the street here in Orlando. You left so quickly and I’d be happy to help any way I can.

    Reply

  6. Kimberly
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 02:14:57

    Vince, Aitza, Arianny, Edwin, Mayan & Sweet Shade: An hour does not pass without you all in our thoughts and prayers.
    Love & Hugs, Glenn, Kimberly, Alex, Avery, Connor, Cara, Vinnie & Kalends

    Reply

  7. melinda howell
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 02:36:33

    We were really happy to hear from Mayan today! He and Braden talked for a while, and as usual, there was alot of laughter between them. I hope it was a good diversion for Mayan, this must be so difficult for him to cope with. I’m checking Shade’s progress here daily and just wanted to let you know your family is very much in our thoughts. Hang in there, and please let Mayan know he can call Braden anytime he wants to chat.

    Melinda Howell

    Reply

  8. Nancy Dougherty
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 02:58:07

    You all are in our prayers and You must remember that You all can do everything with Christ who is strengthening you!! Prayers of healing and peace and faith are what we are all praying for you all!!
    love and blessings for His Grace
    Nancy Dougherty

    Reply

  9. Julie Matura
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 03:09:09

    You are right to keep the faith. Every parent of a seriously injured child has told me that they were told to prepare for the worst and yet, their spunky little miracle children come into my office smiling and ready to play. One day at a time…Shade is a super trooper!

    Reply

  10. Rebecca Morgan
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 03:10:42

    I’m glad that y’all have good doctors.<3 I'm wishin' and prayin' for the best for shade.<3 when you get a chance if you can tell him I'm praying for him. If u feel comfortable with that. God bless.

    Reply

  11. Gigi & Ed
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 03:11:26

    Dear Vince,
    Not an hour goes by that Edwin and I don’t think about all of you and all the small miracles that are happening with Shade. Every time I see a 12 year old pass by me I smile, I just know Shade is going to get better soon. We keep you all in our prayers and we love you all so much and miss you a lot.
    We send you all our love, hugs and best wishes.
    Sincerely,
    Ed, Gigi, Mami G., Rafa, & Taina

    Reply

  12. Julie Creus
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 03:51:31

    I think on some level, doctors are hesitant to give too much news because they don’t want to be held liable later. In a legal sense, it must be better to err on the side of caution, or even the negative. The old promise little, deliver much option.
    The nurses have nothing to lose, really.
    So I say, give your head to the doctors and your heart to the nurses!

    Reply

  13. Amy Shen
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 04:18:06

    Vince and Aitza – just figured out how to do this…sent you an email before. We have HUNDREDS of peopel praying for you across the US, Germany, France, and all the way to China. Our heart goes out to that family you mentioned but do not lose hope. We are praying that not only will Shade recover, but that you will be filled with peace and hope and courage! I love what Maria said, “all things are possible with God”…We love you guys and miss you very much! Amy, Daniel, Andrew, and Lily. The kids really miss Shade and Mayan…we will postpone the sleep over till December when Shade will be much better!

    Reply

  14. Michelle Pike
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 04:19:06

    We love you guys! My thoughts of Shade are only filled with positive vibes and my prayers for him only fill me with peace… I really feel like you can have faith in an ideal outcome! Xoxo

    Reply

  15. Krista Markham
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 06:06:53

    You owe nothing but I will take a big huh from shade when we get trough this!! Love you all!!!

    Reply

  16. Steven E
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 06:12:58

    Vince, We pray for Shade every night. Zoie even included him in this evening grace at dinner. I also want to let you know that you have made a huge difference in many people’s lives. The hundreds of boy’s and girl’s at the Guides and Princesses program I know all know you by name. That does not come from sitting on the sidelines. The families that are now reading Shades progress everyday have all greatly benefitted from knowing you and your family. Thank you Vince for bringing joy into my life and my childrens lives. We will continue to pray for shade. Do me a favor and tell shade a good “Juicy Burger” story for all of us. PS. Don’t forget to wear your wolf hat. πŸ™‚ Noon-way.

    Reply

  17. Marcy Dyal
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 06:13:28

    When my daughter was 3 she had much the same prognosis due to spinal meningitis… bacterial attack and swelling of the brain stem, fever of 103 and unconscious for 3 days…. then slowly the healing began, even though she had a proven allergy to the only drugs they could use against the bacteria (they expected the medicine to stop her heart… that was our choice, let the disease take its course or treat her and see if her heart stops). I can remember walking in circles in the elevator because i just needed to move, shake out my arms, legs, holler a little…. i remember thinking how hard it must be for those families that have no hope of bringing their children home (like the family you met), whole or otherwise…. i was holding on to that hope and willing to take her home in any condition as long as i got to take her home. She had to relearn her alphabet, the difference between salt and pepper, lunch and dinner and her two aunts…..=) She is a healthy, wonderful, fabulous, beautiful 26 yr old young lady. If you need to get out of that room for a while just to shake out your arms and legs and holler a little, i would be happy and willing to come and sit with Shade and read him a story…. let me know…. =) ….. seriously… =)

    Reply

  18. Neal R
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 10:07:51

    I think just having kids is an act of blind faith and hope. Realism is the road map, but blind faith is the propulsion. Without that, we don’t get anywhere – or nowhere that’s any fun anyway.

    We love you.

    -Janet, Neal & Vivian

    Reply

  19. Bill Francis
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 10:23:09

    Vince, We’re constantly thinking of Shade and your entire family. Our love, thoughts and prayers are with you!! Bill, Valerie, and Christian

    Reply

  20. lawrence
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 11:21:29

    for shades and family you are all in our prayers, keep faith and God will deliver. Loads of love from London

    Reply

  21. Aunt Jean
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 12:23:59

    I speak to you dad every day , As grandparents we really feel for him , we speak of Shade and and what wonderful parent he has. WE have faith that he will get over this as my old dad would say us Crampton’s are made of sterner stuff, WE love you all, tell Mayon I enjoyed chatting with him. Our prayer are still coming your way. Thank you for keeping us up to date. Love Aunt Jean and Uncle Glenn

    Reply

  22. The Dobson Family
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 14:40:35

    I cried lots of tears reading this post, both for the girl with no brain activity and for you all … but, as you said, there is SUCH hope for Shade. You’re stuck doing the waiting game right now while his body comes to grip with this trauma and begins to heal itself, but he’s young, strong, and determined – keep the faith!!

    Love,
    Val

    Reply

  23. Sabrina Michaels
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 16:32:57

    You’ll be in my prayers

    Reply

  24. Kathryn B
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 16:55:33

    Craig, Kathryn and Alexis pray for you daily. If ever you need to vent or ask, we are here. Just let us know. As we shared, Alexis is a recent AVM patient herself.

    The Budds

    Reply

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